Androcles's Lion
by Lex Q. Coverdale
Summary: HIATUS - Kindness begets kindness. The simple act of assisting those in need - human or otherwise - creates an unlikely friendship between Veser, Hanna and a creature of the deep. -*Experimental drabbles; content mentioned at chapter beginnings
1. One

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_Hanna is Not a Boy's Name/HiNaBN (c) Miss Tessa Stone --- Fanfiction Text (c) L.Q. Coverdale  
(Content: Mentions of violence and language in the text as a whole; chapters may vary in amounts)  
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The creature was an odd mix of cat and fish - a literal "sea lion", as big as a large pony and with enough muscle to scare off the most buff of professional wrestlers. It was beached on its side beneath the dock, its scaly-furry body covered in drying slime, smelling of dead fish. The curious, green-eyed youth didn't even believe it was alive until he saw the gentle rise and fall of its chest. From its exposed side, a small stick stuck out from under its leg, buried deep in a blackish-brownish wound that looked fairly recent - no doubt it had beached to die.

Veser Amaker Hatch was unsure of what to think. His mouth formed a little "o" at the large creature's plight; it was like seeing something in a 3-D movie, but forgetting the "3-D" part while one was watching it. He wondered if he should touch it - would it bite him? It _looked_ half-dead enough that it probably couldn't lift his head, but Veser knew from experience that such appearances could be deceiving. He had brought a seemingly-ill squirrel home once, and needless to say, it had gotten up, found his father's favourite coffee grind and gone crazy ....

A deep, savage growl emanated from the beast's throat as it smelt and heard his approach. It lifted its leonine head, yellowish and bloodshot eyes managing to throw a death glare Veser's way. The teen gave a little gulp, intimidated by the sea lion noticing him. He backed away in his crouch, putting his hands up, and said softly, "W-whoa there ... easy kitty .... "

The sea lion gave a great exhale, letting its head fall back onto the wet sand it lay upon. There was a great hiss and the monster's nose wrinkled, as if it were wincing from the effort. Veser stared for a moment further, wondering if she should leave it there, or try and find it some sort of help. This process took a short while, until a particular name happened to pop up in his head.

_Hanna._


	2. Two

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_Hanna is Not a Boy's Name/HiNaBN (c) Miss Tessa Stone --- Fanfiction Text (c) L.Q. Coverdale  
(Content: Mentions of violence and language in the text as a whole; chapters may vary in amounts)_

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Even Hanna had had trouble putting a name on the thing Veser found, deciding to keep calling it a "sea lion" for the sake of simplicity. He was more fascinated by the nature of the beast than a proper name, anyways; pulling things to call someone out of a hat was reserved for Dinkleburg. Despite having the energy of an excited parakeet, he approached the wounded sea lion slowly, with hammer a-glow and a protective rune on one hand. By now, the sea lion was barely moving.

"Ooooooh..." said Hanna, focusing in on the creature's pained lion-face. "I've never seen anything like _this _before. 'S'pretty big, too; must've been brought in by the current, or it swam to shore to hide. I mean, whales beach and all .... "

Dinkleburg stood by quietly, but always at the ready should the beast suddenly spring to life. Veser stood beside him, watching Hanna intently. As awesome as it would be to see Cross try and fight off a giant fish-kitty from somewhere under the sea, he was also worried. Hanna's zombie-friend, for all his protectiveness of the hyperactive man-child, could not always move fast enough in case something happened. What about that harpoon in the poor thing's side, too? What kind of damage had been done to make the creature want to beach? And why was it still stuck under the sea lion's shoulder - shouldn't it have broken off by now?

Hanna pulled out his trusty marker, scribbling something on the hammer in order to make it more luminescent. Slowly edging toward the sea lion's wound, eyes narrowing behind his square lens, he made a sympathetic hiss as he got a closer look. "Oooooh ... that looks bad. It's probably infected."

"Do you think Worth might be able to do something?" asked Veser. Hanna glanced back at the sharp-toothed teen, thinking for a moment.

"Wellllllll ... he might be able to give it a shot," replied Hanna. "But I don't know how to get this thing out of here. I mean, it's _huuuuge_, and I don't think we could - "

_"Rrrrrr .... "  
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Everyone suddenly became very quiet. Hanna slowly turned his head to lock stares with one yellowish eye, which, despite being glazed over, looked _very_ angry.


	3. Three

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_Hanna is Not a Boy's Name/HiNaBN (c) Miss Tessa Stone --- Fanfiction Text (c) L.Q. Coverdale  
(Content: Mentions of violence and language in the text as a whole; chapters may vary in amounts)_

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Hanna had darted away in time before the creature did any serious damage. It was the sea lion itself who was in the most trouble; after lunging at Hanna, claws outstretched in a sudden burst of energy, it had fallen upon the harpoon which impaled it. The wooden portion of the harpoon broke off, but the edge had driven deeper into the flesh, making the sea beast cry out in pain. Hanna himself had yelped, holding his arm with four gashes in it, but he did not make as much of a scene as the sea lion did. In order to not attract any attention, the youthful paranormal investigator had been forced to use a sleeping rune on the sea lion.

The trio had managed to contact Lamont Toucey - Worth's supplier of all needed goods, and one of the best paranormal contacts in the city. Lamont had managed to contact Worth (_"What do you mean, '**fix a giant fish-cat thing up**'?!! I ain't no f*&#in'** veterinarian**, you little dipwad!!"_), and, even though he was a doctor for (mostly) human patients, he had managed to give _some _useful advice. They were to turn the beast on its side (which was done with a lot of help from runes and Dinkleburg), make sure it kept breathing, and that a lung or something else important hadn't been pierced. Oh, and Worth had threatened to kill Hanna twice over for nearly being eviscerated before hanging up.

Transportation was surprisingly easy. Lamont had managed to find a tank once owned by an aquarium, big enough to easily hold the sea lion - or _lion poisson_, as Lamont had said it was properly called - once it was filled up with water. (Which it was, thankfully - Hanna wasn't sure if such a rune _existed _that could fill up an aquarium tank.) With the lion poisson sleeping peacefully, the four had wrapped the creature in sheets to be discreet, and towed it out from beneath the dock.

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Upon arriving at the clinic, it was natural that Worth's temper was flaring as he examined the lion poisson. Between swears, spouts of ranting and general verbal abuse towards Hanna, Dinkleburg and Veser, he managed to give a diagnosis: blood poisoning caused by an infected wound. The harpoon had not hit anything vital, thankfully, but the point was wedged well into the lion poisson's shoulder joint.

"Well, can you get it out?" asked Hanna after receiving this news. Worth sighed irritably.

"Pretty sure I can, but th' thing is, I'm not _qualified_ for this s*/!. I fix pansypires and dips*/!s like yourself; Free Willy's mutant cousin is outta my league, boy."

Worth paused, and suddenly, he had a sadistic grin on his face - much like the one he donned whenever he was tormenting Conrad.

"Alt'ough ... it'd be interestin' to see what cuttin' t'is thing up would be like ... see 'how it ticks' an' everythin' - "

"HEY! You're supposed to be _fixing it_!" snapped Veser. Hanna glanced curiously at Veser as the sharp-toothed teen said this; he seemed quite attached to the thing, despite being half-intimidated by it and having just found it lying under a dock. "Don't get any bright ideas, ***hole!"

"Yeah, yeah ... " sneered Worth, turning back to his "patient". "Just keep yer mouth shut, little shark boy, and let the grown-ups do t' - "

The back-alley doctor never got to finish his sentence as Hanna's sleeping rune wore off. Still focusing on the agitated Veser as he was approaching the lion poisson, it was too late for him to react as the creature suddenly bit down. A loud yell and plenty of swear words filled the office, Hanna and Veser joining in with the foul language as the monster's jaw locked on to Worth's wrist.

When all was said and done, Hanna would later sheepishly admit that sleeping runes could have ... side effects. One of which was a sudden burst of energy that continued what the subject had last been doing. Dinkleburg promptly had to restrain Worth as the Australian tried to strangle poor Hanna - even though the man had several punctures almost through_ his entire right wolf joint_.

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_Author's Note: The use of symbols for censoring - also known as "grawlixing" - is a nod towards the artistic censoring Ms. Stone used in the first chapter of HiNaBN.  
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	4. Four

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_(Hanna is Not a Boy's Name/HiNaBN (c) Miss Tessa Stone --- Fanfiction Text (c) L.Q. Coverdale)  
__(Content: Mentions of violence and language in the text as a whole; chapters may vary in amounts. Spoilers for _Chapter Two: In Which a Ghost Becomes Too Much of a Theatre Critic_, are in this particular chapter.)_

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Veser liked mutts.

He had never been much of a cat person, but he liked dogs - especially the mixed breeds. The Hatch family was, in all truth, the union of a human-like creature and a human himself. Though the affair was a forced one thanks to a stolen pelt, it had produced quite the odd-looking son: a shark-mouthed, mouthy, unusually bright-eyed lad who happened to have been used as a punching bag. Every time Veser flipped through the channels and caught one of those "animal cop" shows on, he saw much the same thing. Except, instead of half-selkies, most that took the brunt of the abuse were dogs.

Now he stood staring at another mutt - the lion poisson. Worth refused to go near the thing after it had nearly bitten through his arm the day before. He only approached it after sedating it with who _knows _how many drugs, deciding it was too much trouble to try and get the harpoon's point out. With one hand and a few downed painkillers (as well a rune from Hanna; Veser would have been _seriously _doubting Worth's humanity at that point had Hanna not explained the nature of a pain-blocking rune), he cleaned the wound up. After that, he gave the lion poisson some sort of antibiotic, and told the group to leave it be. Veser had listened, for once, not wanting to make the creature panic should it somehow wake up.

Lamont and Worth were now discussing how to get rid of the thing - Worth couldn't keep the monster in his office for much longer. The place was _reeking_ of dead fish, and the Australian being injured wasn't a good thing; apparently, he was the only doctor Hanna could bring Dinkleburg and Conrad to. It made sense, as any _normal _doctor would probably have called the nearest government agency, shipping off anything remotely supernatural to be poked and prodded at with needles and scalpels. The doctor's business also meant that, if anyone of an official nature caught wind of him operating on people, he would probably be shipped off to the nearest jail for working without a license. The man had _freaking cockroaches _scurrying around his office, after all!

"Hey," said a familiar voice behind Veser, the teen turning his head to glance at Hanna. "You okay there? You've been staring at that thing for, like, the past ten minutes."

"Really?" said Veser. "Sorry, just thinking. Is Doc Worth done talking yet?"

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_Author's Note: I realize, to some, that Hanna knowing some sort of "pain-blocking rune" might not make sense, considering all the times he could have used it. However, with this latest chapter of HiNaBN, it could be argued that Worth might have used one in the gaggle of runes Hanna was said to have given him. For someone like Worth, it seems reasonable he'd use it to give himself superhuman pain tolerance for something._


	5. Five

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_(Hanna is Not a Boy's Name/HiNaBN (c) Miss Tessa Stone --- Fanfiction Text (c) L.Q. Coverdale)  
(Content: Mentions of violence and language in the text as a whole; chapters may vary in amounts. Minor substance implications can be found in this chapter.)  
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And so, once a few days had passed and the antibiotics began working more efficiently, it was decreed that the lion poisson would not leave Doctor Worth's office. Instead, be dumped into the biggest fish tank Lamont could find, and then be relocated as far away from the city's port area as possible. Worth was not amused.

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The decision had been made after Veser had gone back to his college dormitories. After being the brunt of several "dead smelly shark" jokes until he stepped into a hot shower, Veser had come out, towelling his hair off, while his roommate and said roommate's friend were talking. Their conversation was, unsurprisingly, irrelevant to Veser - which video game female character was the hottest, which pizza topping was the nastiest, how much beer a mammoth could down before dropping dead, and so on. It wasn't until he had sat down to enjoy leftover pizza did a certain tidbit of talk catch Veser's attention.

"Dude, so, what about that _huuuuuuge _fish you lost at the pier today?" said Tim, the roommate.

"We're still looking for it," said Dilbert, the friend. "Casey was flipping out after she lost that harpoon she made herself. Said she looked it up on the Internet and everything, right down to sharpening the tip."

Veser paused in mid-bite, bright green eyes darting over towards the pair.

"Really? I mean, the b/#=/ is _obsessed_ with DIYs, but seriously? She made a friggin' _harpoon_?"

"Yep. Threatened to poke out me twig and berries with another one if I kept teasing her about loosing her kill. Said it was the biggest fish she'd ever caught in her fishing career."

" ... She's only been fishing for three days, though."

"That's what's funny! How does the stupid *** think she'll catch anything with such inexperience? She doesn't have a man's finesse! When she tried to make sushi with us the last time, Shark Boy over there smelt like fish guts for a _week_!"

"I'm _eating _over here, you know," said Veser dryly. The talk of fish guts, however, wasn't the only reason his appetite was quickly diminishing that particular supper-time.

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"So ... let me get this straight," said Hanna. "You're telling me that you think one of your college buddies is the reason the fish-kitty has a spear point in its shoulder?"

"Positive," said Veser, actually acting serious for once. Well ... he'd been acting pretty serious the past couple of days, what with the lion poisson's condition and all, but this much _actual_ maturity seemed to be a first for him. "I know Casey. Ever since she got into college, she's been trying to stop being such a 'girly-girl' that she was in high school. She's been trying hunting, camping, survival training and everything, so this wouldn't be beyond her 'quest for not-girliness' or whatever the hell she calls it. And, I know she can be pretty determined to finish whatever job she starts; if she finds that lion poisson thing, and it happens to be what she hit .... "

"But it wouldn't be smart to release it back there, anyways," said Hanna. "I've been asking Lamont, and he says lobster traps and stuff have been disappearing all week. Besides, I highly doubt this nutso Casey chick is the worst of your problems if someone finds this thing. It's half lion, half fish, remember?"

"OI! Quit yer jibber-jamberin' and get over here!" snarled Worth, who was over by the table the lion poisson had taken up. "The bloody thing's startin' t' wake up!"

A loud, rumbling growl was heard from over by the doctor. The Australian hopped backwards, letting out a loud growl as the monster bared its teeth. Its good leg shifted, claws unsheathing, the seaweed-like mane it had beginning to puff out. Hanna was over by it in an instant.

"Easy boy ... " began the twenty-four year old. "Hey, easy ... easy .... "

He pulled out a stick of beef jerky from his left trouser pocket, offering it to the beast. The lion poisson's eyes crossed as it slowly looked down at the food. Hanna smiled sheepishly.

"Um ... yeah ... th-there you go ... have a - "

"RAWR!"

"NYAH!"

_SNAP!_

Where Hanna's hand had been five seconds earlier, the lion poisson's jaws had now clamped down. The thing quickly downed the piece of jerky, eyes narrowing hungrily as it focused on Hanna. It licked its lips, and the paranormal investigator felt the hairs on his neck stand up. Worth snickered from a safe distance; Lamont was ignoring all this as he wheeled up the tank behind the creature. Dinkleburg was assisting him.

"Okay," said Lamont quietly, lion poisson still glaring hungrily at Hanna, "here's what we're going to do. Hanna, you tag the thing with whatever rune makes it fall asleep. When it's out cold, we get the sling under it, and gently pull it into the water. Is everyone ready?"

"Yes," said Dinkleburg.

"Mhm-hmm," said Doc.

"Y-yeah .... " said Hanna warily.

"Guess so," said Veser.

"All right then. Hanna, would you mind?"

The red-head audibly gulped, but nonetheless, pulled out his marker, his hammer and another few pieces of jerky. Slowly, he approached the lion poisson once more, saying, "Nice kitty ... just take the jerky ... there we go .... "

Once more, the lion poisson bit down, and once more, Hanna flinched back. He quickly scribbled a rune onto his hammer to use, but didn't realize his jerky-filled pocket was with clawing distance of the sea monster. Henceforth -

"Mriff!"

"AAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

_"Rr-ROWR!!"_

_CRUNCH!_

"_**AAAAAAAAGH!**_ OHMIGOD OHMIGOD! _DINKLE-**BUUUUURG**! GETITOFFGETITOFF** GET IT OOOOOOOFFFFFFFFFFF!!**_"

Worth began swearing like a sailor (as usual), frantically running to and rummaging in his nearby desk, attempting to find a spare sedative and a needle. (Sometimes, when Hanna was being _reaaaally _annoying, or something was _reaaaally_ bothering the doctor, it helped to have a bit of his own medicine.)

"HANNA!" yelled Veser and Dinkleburg, both running forward to grab the lion poisson by the neck and pull it back.

"HOLD STILL!" yelled Lamont, grabbing a nearby 1996 calendar (never thrown out due to the ... _questionable_ content each month's photo depicted) and immediately smacking the thing over the nose. It resisted the trio's efforts, instead focusing more on sinking it's teeth into Hanna's upper thigh. Human blood and beef jerky - in the creature's mind, _yum_.

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_Author's Note: I apologize for the briefness and the abrupt endings of some chapters. The attempt is to catch the essence of the story in less than 2000 words per chapter, as per what the experiment calls for. If anyone has any feedback on how I can further smooth out the chapter ends and chapter transitions, please let me know. I try my best to keep the pacing of the story at a reasonable level; any jerkiness is duly noted should it be brought up._


	6. Six

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_(Hanna is Not a Boy's Name/HiNaBN (c) Miss Tessa Stone - Fanfiction Text (c) L.Q. Coverdale)  
(Content: Mentions of violence and language in the text as a whole; chapters may vary in amounts)  
_

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The lion poisson clawed unhappily at the edges of its tank. Its powerful tail thwacked to and fro, eyes hungrily watching as Worth bit into a tuna salad taco from a local seaside food stand. Veser was not amused - the poor thing looked like it _really _wanted a bite - but it had been agreed that no one was to hand feed the fish-cat. Ever. Especially since it had ripped open Hanna's entire thigh. The redhead was _still _trying to explain to his co-workers at the local Go-Mart that it was _not _urban exploration that had given him the injury.

Veser wanted to name the aquatic mishmash something cool, like "Ripper" or "King" or "Vlad the Thigh-Paler". (Hanna was not amused at the last one.) Yet, like with Hanna and Cornelius (as the investigator was calling his slightly-decayed friend now), Veser kept flipping back and forth from name to name. While he couldn't keep the lion poisson as a pet - not only did it look freaky, but Veser couldn't fit a fish tank that big in his dorm - he could at least give it some sort of identity. For all intents and purposes, all manner of dignity had been lost when it had been hit in the side by a wimpy tomboy wannabe, dragged by a child in a twenty-four-year old's body to a crackpot doctor's, stuffed inside a tank entirely too small for it, beaten over the nose with a trashy calendar and sedated repeatedly out of paranoia. (Seriously, how much morphine and, when Lamont was late in replacing it, Tylenol, could the thing take before it choked from overdose?)

"I think we sh'call t'e lil' mongrel 'Rex'," said Worth, snapping Veser out of the latter's train of thought. "He's like one o' them sea lion things y'see on a coat o' arms, don't ya think?"

Veser was tempted to make a joke about their thoughts crossing - namely, how long it would take for them to start hitting on the same chick - but he held his tongue. "Yeah, sorta."

"I mean, let's not let _Hanna _name the d-%& thing, fer Godssakes," said Worth. "O' all people, he'd name the friggin' nightmare _'Fluffy'_. Why _do_ they always try 'n' name 'em 'Fluffy', anyways ... ?"


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